Humilty IS taking responsibility for your own mistakes.

While I don't need to take on undue guilt, true remorse is required of me if I'm to be a humble person.

Humility is not blaming yourself when things go wrong.

To be wise, one must have responsibility. One must be accountable and take pride in what one does. One must always realize that what they are doing is for the Lord...being a humble servant. However, one does not need to blame self when things go wrong. Being humble is not the same as taking the fall for every person who does something wrong or for every thing circumstance that goes wrong. Actually, this is prideful. It is taking responsibility for things that one does not have a right to. Only God can stop, cause, etc. every circumstance.

Looking forward to the weekend...

It seems that I cannot keep myself from planning lots of stuff to do on my weekends. A couple of days ago, I was completely free. Now I have every day booked! Kind of fun! I need to keep an eye on this tendency though as I might get tired or perhaps I'll do it for the wrong reasons. Hmmmm... Oh well, this weekend looks fun!

So what does humilty look like then?

What I was taught growing up was not wrong. It was the conclusions I came to.

Humility is loving others so much that you will do whatever God asks you to do for them. Humility is sharing encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness and compassion. Humility is being like- minded, sharing the same love, being one in spirit and purpose with the Body. Humility is looking to our own interests but never forgetting the interests of others. It is putting their interests first when necessary and required by God. (Which is just about all the time!) Humility is doing everything to bring glory to God the Father.

Philippians 2:1-11 says it best.
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy coplete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

So what does this look like in real life? What practical things can be done, believed to show our humility and give glory to God the Father?

Not an excuse

Humility is not an excuse to use to get out of things.

During my college years, I believed in some standards for a woman of God that I now understand to have been lacking. Let me explain. Something that I thought I observed while growing up was that humility meant letting go of self completely so as to better others and serve God. In my mind, that meant ignoring my own feelings, distrusting my decisions, and willing myself to do what someone else dictated even if I felt that it might be better another way. I believed that this is what humilty looks like. I believed that if you truly want to follow Scripture, if you truly want to love without selfishness and be completely humble, you must let others have it their way. I learned to put on a very interesting mask. I don't know if you can imagine the trouble this put me into!

When you believe to the extreme that those in authority over you must be right, you stop questioning discrepencies. When you twist unselfish love too far, you will allow yourself to do things in relationships that were originally against your beliefs. When you truly believe that your voice should be silent in deference to others, you hold back from service in the church. For me, this has been seen in avoiding teaching and speaking opportunities, not giving my all when singing and worshipping God, and even avoiding correcting people when I observe obvious sin because I think I am younger, female, or not as experienced in the world or with God.

This is not humility. This is a lie. I am learning, through God's grace what humility does look like so I can change my responses in life to be those that truly please Him and loves others well.

What is humility?

What is humility? Really, what does it look like. We're told that humility is something we should attain, that being humble is to be like Christ. But what is humility? Can a person attain it? Or is it given as one becomes closer to God? Or is it a mindset? Maybe it's a combination of all of these things.

I do feel that humility is something that can be learned. (King Nebuchadnezzar) I also know there are people who seem to be humble by nature. (Moses) Then there are people who do humble things. (King David, Lydia) And then there's Christ, who epitomizes humilty.

I also know a few things that humility is not. It is not false. A person with humilty does not act shy when given praise only to be the same person to seek out this praise. It is not masochistic. A humble person does not beat up themselves. Self-abasement is not always humility, it can essentially telling lies about yourself to yourself and to others so that in a strange way that person can feel better about you. Humility is also not an excuse to keep you in sin. (If I just stop putting myself first, I can love this person enough and therefore stay in this relationship that I know I should not be a part of. I can love them to God by laying my life down for them.) This can be of God, but must be carefully investigated and worked out. Humility is not blind devotion, but devoted servanthood with Christ as the guide.

I also realize that humilty should not be used an excuse to avoid doing the things God wants you to do. Our minds can be filled with all sorts of lies when we misunderstand what humility is. I will use my life as an example in my next post.

putting it all back together...

So...as soon as I closed the computer after writing my last entry, I had a phone call from Jordan. He was very happy about his MCAT mark! 29Q, I guess, is a drastic increase in score from 25N. The letters indicate his writing skills, with the further down the alpahbet being better. And his verbal reasoning scores were way up. He's actually excited! That makes me feel so much better. And when he got home we talked about his second job and he's pretty sure it's their problem and while it concerns him, he's not to blame. He feels things will work out and all will be well. And to top it all off, we have decided to stay in the Maritimes for the next year at least. Jordan has told one boss that he'll be here until next September. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean we won't move to NB and have him travel back and forth for jobs, but we'll take that as it comes. :) So far, I'm happy. (Amazing how my moods change, eh?) I'm glad I didn't let my depression hold me back from doing my Avon business today too. I've had three calls already from that job in one evening. It seems like an encouraging indicator. Also, with staying here, I feel that I can commit to doing more ministry in my church. I like the idea of that. I've been kind of disconnected because of kids, uncertainty, etc. It'd be good to be involved. Anyway, life is still uncertain but it's looking up. Pieces are coming together a little bit. Maybe some day I'll see the puzzle. Maybe I won't but I will be content in the Lord's masterpiece.

When it all feels like it's falling apart...

Today things feel like they are falling apart. It all started when Jordan got news regarding his application to Dal. He was told of a mess up on their part which they apologized for, but really can't help with. (I still think there's something screwy with that.) Then he finally found out why they didn't accept him. His GPA "didin't meet the cutoff" requirements. And later last evening I looked down at my wedding ring only to discover that one of the diamonds is missing. Then today I got a call from one of Jordan's jobs. They told me that his payslips had been inproperly turned in for the past while and so they were not going to pay him for the next while until they get things figured out. Apparently they have been overpaying him. All I keep thinking to myself is that they can't penalize him for something they did wrong. (They were assuming he was working a certain amount each week.) But it seems like they are blaming it on him and leaving us in the lurch. And of course, I took the brunt of it because Jordan wasn't home and his boss was so upset and didn't keep with employee privacy and told me everything. So Jordan doesn't even know yet. Speaking of things that he doesn't know...I just checked his AAMC results (MCAT). I know his scores and I don't think that he does. And if he does, I'm guessing he's doing an awful lot of thinking today. 29. A good score. But I don't think it'll make him happy. He was hoping to break 30. And we'd said that we would be going south if he made less than that. And here we were just two days ago talking to each other and saying that we were pretty sure we'd be staying in Halifax for the next year at least. Now it looks like we'll be moving for sure. If it's not to Belize then probably New Brunswick so that he has a better chance of getting into MUN. But I just found this out. I don't even know what Jordan's gonna say. He was so sad last night about his GPA. Now what? That's the biggest question either of us has. Now what do we do? How do we respond to this? What's our next step? Do we take any steps? I think life here in Hali is pretty good and that we could make a go of it in our present state. But is that enough? WE always had bigger dreams. I was so sure Jordan was going to be a doctor. Did I misunderstand God? We don't have people to really hash this all out in person with either. What we need is some good honest advice and truth without holding back. God, I want to listen to You. I'm just having such a hard time doing that right now. I know my problems are petty but to me they're really important. I thought I had a clear picture. Please forgive me of my unbelief. I just don't know what my next step should be. How do I support my husband and love him in the way that he needs to be loved? How do we become the people You want us to be? How should we follow our calling? Heck, what's our calling? Jordan listens to me a lot. Help me to say and do the right things. I don't want to be a hinderance. I want to do Your will. Help us Lord! Please take away this ache in my heart and this tension in my insides. I know it's because I'm not trusting You enough. I just know know what trusting looks like at the moment.

AVON ONLINE!!!

Discovered something recently at a big Avon Leadership Seminar...
All of my friends can order Avon online by simply going to Avon.ca and following the links. When prompted all that's needed is my phone number and my customers will recieve an order which will be shipped directly to their door. Very cool stuff! I will be able to help them if they have concerns and they will be able to get quick service. I like this idea. So if you're reading this.... go to AVON.CA and order now!!!