Not an excuse

Humility is not an excuse to use to get out of things.

During my college years, I believed in some standards for a woman of God that I now understand to have been lacking. Let me explain. Something that I thought I observed while growing up was that humility meant letting go of self completely so as to better others and serve God. In my mind, that meant ignoring my own feelings, distrusting my decisions, and willing myself to do what someone else dictated even if I felt that it might be better another way. I believed that this is what humilty looks like. I believed that if you truly want to follow Scripture, if you truly want to love without selfishness and be completely humble, you must let others have it their way. I learned to put on a very interesting mask. I don't know if you can imagine the trouble this put me into!

When you believe to the extreme that those in authority over you must be right, you stop questioning discrepencies. When you twist unselfish love too far, you will allow yourself to do things in relationships that were originally against your beliefs. When you truly believe that your voice should be silent in deference to others, you hold back from service in the church. For me, this has been seen in avoiding teaching and speaking opportunities, not giving my all when singing and worshipping God, and even avoiding correcting people when I observe obvious sin because I think I am younger, female, or not as experienced in the world or with God.

This is not humility. This is a lie. I am learning, through God's grace what humility does look like so I can change my responses in life to be those that truly please Him and loves others well.