Belize or Bust?

Jordan was contacted by the medical school in Belize a couple of days ago. It's really a weird state that I'm in right now. I don't feel scared. I don't feel like we shouldn't go. I just don't know what my steps should be right now. There's so much to consider and so many plans to decide upon. Do we go to Belize this fall? Should we go in May? Yikes! That just opens up so many more questions. I had always assumed that we would go together, but now that seems like something I'm holding on to but doesn't necessarily have to be. What if I stayed behind with the kids? But would I be doing that out of fear? Really. I don't trust my own decision making anymore. Does my insisting on going make things way more difficult and am I doing that out of fear? I wish we had time to really talk about this but we don't because of his course right now. Speaking of which...why the course when Belize doesn't need it? Heck, Belize doesn't seem to need much. Is that a bad sign? I have all these questions. I also have this weird peace. I know things will work out somehow. I honestly don't know how or even in what direction we should be turning right now. Should I be waiting for a more clear sign or am I blind to what is already there? Should we even go overseas? My mom is definitely wishing we didn't have to go so far away. I feel bad for her. She seems so overwhelmed right now. So tired. How do I help from far away? It'll be hard to even phone her. But that's the way of growing up too, right? You move away? Mom and Dad move on to better things? Ok, but no matter what, unless we get into Dalhousie University, we'll be moving so we need to get the hosue ready, and that's what has me writing this in the first place. I don't know where to begin with anything! It's a big circle.