Having confidence.

Last night I had an Avon House Party at my house. Well, that's what it was advertised as. Two people showed up. One by taxi, one was my next door neighbour. I put on my best face and tried to act real well. Even now, I feel like I have to lie. I'm so disappointed. In people who didn't come, in my church-for saying they care about stuff but then not coming to something that could help fix it, in myself for not calling more to confirm attendance, in God...I really thought He was telling me it was going to be fine. But looking back, He just said that I should trust Him and He would bless me. He also said to ask of Him and He would give. Oh, I wish I knew what to ask for, what to believe in, what to dream for. I asked for the party to go well, for money to be raised and even for people to join my Avon team. I tried having confidence. I felt as if I was the guy who ask Jesus to increase His faith. It feels like I need to be really careful to pick the right dream so that I can be happy. That sounds kind of twisted in a way. If I prayed for the wrong things, how am I to know what's right to pray for. It didn't seem like these were wrong things to pray about. I'm confused. Lord, I know You're working things out. I just wish You and I understood some of the same things.