Sometimes the best way to keep the kids happy and myself sane is to ask them to do little tasks. Just now, in order to be able to sit for a few minutes without distractions, I've asked Danya to go find me a book about a bird. Like I was hoping, it's actually taking her a while to find it. "Whoo hoo." "There's no bird on there." Oh well, she's busy. And actually, if we both look closely, there is a bird in the book. "Book" is one of her new words. If you draw out the oooo sound, you've almost got it, but make sure you barely say the k sound. Now you've really got it. We just found another bird, a dove pictured above Jesus' head. And now Danya's saying "mow, mow! MOW!" She found a cat. This is turnign out to be a not-so-distracting activity. "AH HAH!!!" She just found some fish in a basket being held by a little boy. There's bread in there too. She likes that story...
I'm glad that Danya and I are both happy right now. Over the past little while I've been feeling really strained with her. We're fighting a lot. That's embarrassing to say. I've been fighting with a two year old! And I don't know how to handle it. My temper is really short and I'm often scared that Danya will remember these days. I've heard of others having these kinds of difficulties, but rarely have I heard any definite, good advice on how to deal with it. Like, what do I do when Benjamin is screaming his head off 'cause he just doesn't want to go to sleep, doesn't want to be held, doesn't want to be put down, and doesn't want anything to drink? And then add a little girl who yells, "Mom! Mom! MOM!" from the doorway just as you think the baby's settling down? And then both are crying 'cause you aren't able to pick them up at the same time? And then one of them barfs on you and the other pees on your bed? These are all things that have happened in the run of a day, or rather in the space of a few minutes at our house. My nerves have a hard time of handling it. It scares me how frustrated I can get. Sometimes only one of those things will get me upset. Maybe I just need more sleep....
Yesterday Kate told me she was scared of becoming a mom and I told her that there are definite benefits, like seeing your kids grow up, seeing them do so many things for the first time. I neglected to mention firsts like playing with their poo or throwing a tantrum in a mall after not being allowed to ride the merry-go-round a second time. I don't want to totally discourage her forever! :) I remember that I always wanted to be a wife and mom. I had no larger dreams than that that I ever committed to or followed through on. Perhaps I should take the time to dream some more, or learn to be truly content in all circumstances. I know I need to be more content, more joyful. Are these things that a person can just tell themselves to be? Somehow I'm not sure of that....
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2 comments:
I think all mothers go through those stressful days...which are most days (especially ones with kids close in age - like ours)- sometimes handeling everthing great, and unfortunally many times failing.
A wonderful mother once told me to do this:
As soon as you are frustrated with a child (which every mother will do!)- send them to another room (or pick them up and move them to another room). -Only long enough to pray about the situation and pray for the right attitude when going back to discipline.
This allows me time to calm down, and the child spends this time thinking about what they have done wrong.
This works most of the time... however nothing ever works all the time for a kid. But at least I have the right attitude when dealing with them.
It's usually in the picking up to move to the other room idea that I am most worried I'll respond the wrong way. And I must say that my kids don't seem to be thinking about much if I leave the room, they just scream more.
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